We've all been there, sitting on the pot, using some ridiculously thin piece of paper to scrape our putrescent shit off of our asscheeks. One is compelled to ask why, and the only person suited to answer such questions is our loving deity, God. Is it so much to ask to always have our bown movements compressed and with a certain level of cleaniness? What do we gain from wiping our asses? It takes an inordinate amount of time to do a good job, it's painful, it smells unpleasant and the punishment for skipping out is downright putrescent.
I remember in middle school we got to dissect an owl pellet. There, my friends, is a good idea. One, single pellet, which leaves the body through a suitably shaped hole and requires no clean up afterwards. No ass wiping. In fact, just about everything related to the process of taking a shit is pretty unpleasant. Bathrooms are disgusting, it happens far too often, and...well...diarrhea. That's an entirely separate reason for why God cannot exist. Diarrhea. There's simply no other explanation. A loving deity forcing you to leak out burning liquefied shit? That's unreasonable.
I could probably go on about this for quite some time, but you guys get the picture.
