If you want me to dislike you for extended periods of time, then by all means, tell me to turn down my music. I'm sorry, but my relationship between my music and myself is a very delicate one, and usually I like my music where it's presently at. Don't tell me to fuck with it. I will hate you.
Now, with that said, if I've just spent all day in class, then doing homework, then returning from homework to wash the dishes for four hours, don't tell me to turn down my fucking music. I'm cleaning up after you, god damn it, let me create my own environment. And if you can still hear it, then come down and wash the fuckers yourself, it's as simple as that.
Sorry, just had to get that out.
Anyway, my latest adventure as been graffiti-ing stalls across campus. In the library, I created two lists on either side of a stall. "Reasons why there is God" on the left, "Reasons why there is no God" on the right. I filled in entry number 1. Farting. Then today, I was taking a shit in the handicapped stall, and decide that a survey would be appropriate, so once again, two columns. Handicapped, and Not Handicapped.
Now, the handicapped bathroom is always my first choice. I mean, it's spatious, usually cleaner, and has those interesting bars around the side. Why would anyone consciously not use that one? Let me ask you - have you ever seen a handicapped person using a public restroom? I haven't, and certainly not while I'm using thier stall. It's hard for me to imagine, but I don't think I would be using the public bathroom if I were handicapped. I mean...shit, man. It could take a while. And what if I fell down or something? There ain't no carpet in those public restrooms, y'know?
I was thinking today, damn it would be nice to be interesting. Of course, interesting is all relative, so I guess I'd just like to be more interesting. I'm not sure how this would be accomplished, and I'm saddened that the desire to be interesting doesn't seem to have any effect on the relative interesting-ness of the person in question. I've been brainstorming, y'know? How can I be more interesting?
1. Say things that are funny.
For all intensive purposes, things that are funny are interesting. So now, I'll just be funny. Check.
2. Do interesting things.
Cool things, eh? I can do cool things, like skipping class to study for a midterm. Fuckin' madman, huh?
3. No, that's not really interesting.
Wait...that's not number three. I don't even know why that's a number. In fact that didn't make any sense whatsoever. Plus it is interesting. I mean, I could just be sitting in class, eating my imitation Hostess-cupcakes, doing circuit design, but instead I'm
4. Shut the fuck up.
Hey, screw you, bold font! I'm funny and interesting!
5. Hahaha.
I feel sad. I resign myself to being a boring person, doing the same droll things day in and day out until I die. I mean, that's life, what can one do about it? It's all just completely futi-
6. Write in bold as a way to express your split personalities.
Wait, split personalities? I guess that might be interesting. Just maybe. But what's to keep this from getting incredibly grating and stupid?
7. Use italics, then have a big argument between the three of us.
What are you talking about? I would never do anything that stupid. I mean, this is a web log, where I can post cool, nifty details about my life, I'm not some sort of circus act, step right up, pay two dollars and see the elephant jump the fuckin' fence, shit your pants, get your momma to clean it up, then buy a popsicle! Yes, that's right
8. Popsicles? Honestly, what the hell is going on here? What sort of world are we living in anyway, where all this havoc and mayhem runs free and there's no rhyme or reason anymore! Rhyme! Like time! With a lime, dime, chime ain't no crime! And tomorrow, tomorrow, there's always, tomorrow it's only one midterm away.
Ah, the links to which we go to avoid the inevitable.
