I had a really great reason why there is no loving god, but I forgot it. Therefore...
Today's reason why there is no loving god: forgetting shit.
What I really want is some sort of memory management system. I understand that there may be a finite amount of space in my head, but dammit, there are some things I want to choose to remember forever, or at least for a set period of time.
Tests, for example. Why can't I just choose to remember all the parts of the brain forever, and the BWV cataloging system just until the end of the semester? As it stands, they're both gone. And the whole process of trying to remember things, especially under pressure, it's just a huge pain. I mean, all that shit should just be automatic. Talk about saving humans from large amounts of discomfort. I mean war sucks and all, but if I could only remember the name of that song...
And a reason why there is a loving god: today's events.
1.) I got into an REU at the University of Illinois at Chicago, which I'm 90% thinking I'm going to take. I get to go to Chicago for 8 weeks in the summer, learn about neuroscience and do some spiffy research, write a paper and do a presentation, and I get paid $2500.
2.) I somehow managed to get an A on my Bach midterm. I said that he was employed in Weimar by 'Prince Feisel'.
Today's reason why there is no loving god: midterms.
If there were ever a point when reading this journal to say 'duh', this would be it. But it's a stressful exam for hours on end in a cramped room to supposedly 'test your knowledge' - usually rather illegitimate, always rather unfun.
Speaking of which, wish me luck on my arbitrary, unfun Computer Science midterm in two hours. And may God be with me, I guess.
Today's reason why there is no loving god: handedness. Honestly, what the fuck kind of loving god would create this situation where you put all of your eggs in one basket? One flimsy, fallible hand. Don't believe? Try to spend a day not using your dominant hand. Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with your other hand? Yeah, I hadn't either, until today.
So a while back, I got an umbrella spike jammed under my right pinky fingernail, which oozed out yellow stuff for a few days. Then it cleared up, and looked a little white where the spike went through, then it turned totally black for about a week. Then the whole thing started falling off. So yesterday I finally bit the bullet and clipped off the dead nail, leaving just a little bit of healthy nail to the side. So I don't want my fingernail to get infected, so I've got this beautiful band-aid over it. And of course, to keep things un-infected, don't wipe your ass with them.
So I did it with my left hand. Man, talk about hard work and lack of coordination. I'm thinking if i lost any more functionality in my right hand...wow. Not only would I not be able to wipe my ass, but all of those handed things - writing, eating, throwing - I'd be incapacitated. Think of all the shit (not literal) you put your hand through each day. Keep it safe, kids, you don't want to lose that hand.
A loving god, on the other hand (heh), would let you regenerate lost hands, and make people ambidexterous in general. Ah, well. Such is the life we lead. Hopefully my finger will heal soon.
This weekend is a 'worst weekend ever candidate'. I've cleaned the kitchen twice, done the dishes twice, DJ'd from 3:30-6, found out I'll probably get rejected from my KALX show application, found out that the music director of SF Weekly thinks I'm annyoing, and in my down time, I've been studying for computer science.
Today's reason why there is no loving God: pimples.
