Coming back from Spring Break, I can't help but notice the throngs of people trying to get elected to student council. Now, let me tell you, I've flirted with the monster that is student government in the past, and that left me with a strange twitch in my left eye and a strong sense of disillusionment. I was President of Student Council in 5th Grade, the same year that a 4th grader got arrested for dealing pot to a 2nd grader. Even as president, I couldn't stop this heinous affair. In fact, I didn't do anything. All I learned was that student government sucks, and that if you put pressure on the front of a piece of chalk it will squeak less.
You're probably going to tell me that it was just 5th grade, that it doesn't have any bearing on a college election. I have six words for you, "Vote Daniel Frankenstein, He's No Monster!" And I stopped and consider this statement, that yes, not being a monster is sufficient grounds to elect him president. Just as much so as wearing a nice hat. Or giving me a cookie. Actually, no, the cookie ranks higher.
Consider, however, that here at Berkeley we have 100+ people running for 20 senate positions and maybe 10 other miscellaneous positions. It's nearly impossible to consider any candidate seriously, because it's not that big a deal anyway. They play a small role in control of ASUC funding, and aside from that get to put it on their resume. It probably doesn't deserve to be anything more than a popularity contest. I understand, and I don't want to condemn how people pursue their candidacy.
What really bugs me, though, is the sheer effort that goes into this. They have these huge, beautiful signs, political parties established with t-shirts, waste their time on Sproul in your best clothing trying to sweet-talk apathetic students. It's a giant load of cow dung. These people don't care about Cal, they care about themselves. It's fine, I understand, but shit, the school is hurting for funds. Anything extra would help. The ASUC itself needs money, and here the leaders of the ASUC are already squandering their cash on ways to get themselves into office.
As for my own campaign, it does not exist. I swear that I will not spend any time or effort trying to get myself elected, and that if elected, I will pay virtually no attention to the meaningless drivel that is student government. I refuse to accept any party nominations, and if somebody gives me money for my non-existant campaign, I will donate immediately to the ASUC, where it belongs.
I promise to never bother you on Sproul Hall asking for you to vote for me, I will never walk you to class trying to push my platform. And to top it all off, I will not vote for myself. I also refuse to vote for Daniel Frankenstein, or any other person that I've heard of, or has the backing of a large student party. Protest something that you can change, take back Sproul for students like us who think the ASUC is dumb.
Fight strong views with apathy! Vote for Oscar the Grouch! Vote yes on shut the hell up! Fight strong views with apathy! And if you're not with me, get this, I don't give a shit!
Ah, the glory of basking in the harsh light of rejection and contemplating another summer in Berkeley. Cog Sci 100, Philosophy 132, here I come. Get ready John Searle, because I'm going to be vicious.
Okay, now I'm just procrastinating. I'm finally back from my Spring Break, and trying to finish up (read: start) all the homework I haven't paid attention to for the last week or so. I also haven't heard anything from any of my programs, which means I'm probably going to get rejected from all of them. My thesis: assuming I do get into a program, they need time to see if I reject it, and to find somebody else if I do so. They promised notification before April 1st, so I'm guessing that I'm on the "maybe" list, where I'll hear back depending on their rejections, otherwise I would have already heard.
Ah, well. Hopefully I can get into my present research and follow up on that during the summer. And if not, then I'll just have to go to Azerbaijan this summer, which won't be so terrible. There's only a few terrorists there, no big deal. Besides, I'm a pretty big guy, hard to take down, you know.
I'd considered ranting about Stanford, but after doing so several times in the last couple of days, I just feel sapped of my inspiration. Sorry, I know how much you were all dying to hear my sagacious slander, but you'll have to wait until later.
Allow me instead, to praise David Simpson's Ozy & Millie, which is a truly superb comic strip. I like this one. I think it's clever, humorous, sweet and well drawn. Soon, I will purchase the books, and maybe I will get a tattoo of Ozy on my back, where there is presently no hair. I think it's kind of silly to have a tattoo with hair growing out of it, but I'm kind of covered with hair. Ah, life's dilemmas.
