So after that brief panic and disdain for CS, I pulled myself together and managed to finish the project, pass all of the tests, and do both extra credit assignments in the allotted amount of time. All while gleefully helping other people.
I need a 50% on the exam to get an A in the class. If I get a 0%, I still get a solid B. I wish I could say the same about Electrical Engineering. So despite the egregiously little work I've done, it seems entirely possible that I'll pull out of this semester with a positive derivative. Jesus, that's just so wrong.
I don't like being in this lab, doing constant work. I want to go home and talk to people, and clean the exhaust vents, and just chill out. Maybe later, when I'm supposed to be studying my ass off.
If you're considering doing something crazy and totally irresponsible in the midst of finals, I think I'd be up for it. Just leave me a comment or something. I'm just in no mood to be tormented by school.
At this very moment, I have no desire to do that which I was doing before I was doing this which I am, at this very moment, presently doing. I was working on my CS project, and I quite simply have no desire to work on it any longer. It's not even close to done, I can't blow it off, I can't even blow off today. This evening, I simply must get things done, or else very bad things will happen. Ugh, I don't want to disappear again. I want to be able to hang out with folks and chill and listen to Belle & Sebastian and not do CS right now.
And I'm just really irritable, and the kids next to me saying "Booly-on" are driving me bonkers, and I have the dark clouds in my head.
Thanksgiving was heinous, and I didn't enjoy being in Southern California, and I didn't enjoy being with my family. I ate too much, and now I feel kind of ill. And I don't want finals to be coming so soon, and I don't want winter vacation to come. Yes, you heard it here first, I am not looking forward to winter vacation. There's not enough snow for skiing to be any good, my month in San Jose last year was a world of suck, and I'm going to have to go to Florida.
Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to go to Florida, exactly. But shit, everyone I know from there is growing farther and farther apart, and I have my ethical obligations to hang out with each one. Lord knows I had fun going to bars last year.
But that's how it is when the dark clouds are present. Always blah blah blah, bitch bitch bitch with no letting up.
