So, here I sit in the midst of some great unknown melodrama. But I seem to be trapped in my own self-absorbed microcosm to the extent that I don't even know what this melodrama is. People don't usually confer with me regarding their problems. Perhaps it has to due with the fact that I often mock things they enjoy, and they don't think I would be sensitive to their problems. Of course, this probably isn't true, unless they're having a nervous breakdown because Ross doesn't get to marry Rachel. Am I that callous when it comes to other people? It doesn't seem like one of my myriad problems. I mean, I'm not always completely considerate of the world around me, and sometimes I can be surprisingly self-absorbed, but this is ridiculous. So talk to me, people. I'm your friend. I have ears. I have opinions. You have problems. So what's the issue? Let's get down to business.
I came to an interesting realization today - that all of the money I'm spending at college is still coming from my Bar Mitzvah. That was fuckin' forever ago, and it's still here. And it's *really* not going to last for very long, at the rate I'm going now. I haven't eaten at the DC in few days due to scheduling constraints, which means eating out, which means less money. But I just keep thinking about my parents saying that I can eat essentially whatever I want, because it's food. And I shouldn't have to think about conserving money when it comes to food. They provide me with money sometimes, but I'm still down nearly a grand from the start of the year, which comes from food. I mean, the only other things I've purchased are defective odor-eating socks and CD's, and not that many CD's at that. Then again, I did go to see Star Wars tonight, and additionally I went to Ben & Jerry's. Yeah, so I'm a fucking glutton and a careless spender. And as a result of my careless spending, I'm going to get a substandard grade in my computer science class, which is going to result in me not being hired over the summer as a reader. Damn. Life is a vicious cycle, man. At least I got to see Yoda kick some ass. Yoda's so great.
June is giving me waves of orgasmic pleasure. I want to read at least two books in that month, perhaps more. Because I'm going to have so little to do, and so much free time...::drool::
The big list:
1.) Web page
2.) Record
3.) Read
4.) Plan DeCal
5.) Write a Musical
OK, this might bear a bit of clarification. So why am I qualified to write a musical? Well, because I think I can write music well enough, and I think it will be a fun and interesting challenge. Do I have an idea for what I should write? Not really, no. Is it a bad idea? Probably, yeah. But I don't give a shit. I want to do it anyway.
6.) Learn Perl and or C
And, that's just about it. I guess that can be done in a month, right? If not, it certainly can't hurt to try. I can always just do radio stuff. Oh yeah.
7.) Do radio stuff
That's pretty important. I can chill in San Francisco, and go to a bunch of shows, and hang out with my friends that are still here...Yeah. June = orgasm right now.
I really suck at studying. Look at me, sitting here updating my webpage, fantasizing about my month of alone-time. Not that I have a place to live, or anything like that. But yes, studying. At least I have some vague thoughts about studying. I started making my Physics sheet when I returned from Star Wars today. All I can think about is Yoda and June. And sometimes bridge. I was thinking also about making a bridge concept album or something, it would have to be called "Bleeding Trump". Hm. Aside from that, I'm not sure what I can write about...Ooooh. Maybe I can make my musical about bridge. Then again, that could be really boring unless I decided to make it completely psychotic. But that can be arranged.
-Study Physics
-Study Computer Science
-Study MCB
-Study Math
-Take Music Final
-See Star Wars
Plans subject to change, of course. I can't wait until June - having an entire month off to just chill and do my thang for a while. God, that's going to be wonderful. Almost wonderful enough to convince me to spend my time in empty anticipation rather than preparation for finals. Gah, stupid finals. Stupid grades. Stupid school. Stupid everything.
So what did I do this weekend? After sulking pretty much without end from Thursday evening until this afternoon (Sunday), I am now free to be at least somewhat normal with respect to my mental wellbeing.
I went to the HKN initiation, which was pretty retarded, as was expected. It was in 2060 VLSB, and it was all dark with candles, and the officers were wearing robes and calling each other "Brother Wheatstone" and "Brother Ampere". No offense, but people from one hundred years ago were really dopey.
After that debacle, I went back to Foothill and sulked. Not much fun. The next day, more sulking ensued. Surprise, surprise, and I tried to work on Physics some more without much success. Then today I slept in and met my parents in San Francisco to eat "dinner" at 2 PM. It was at the House of Prime Rib, which offers only Prime Rib. Five separate cuts of prime rib. Very strange. Afterwards we walked to Ghiradelli Square, and I got the most delicious ice cream I'd ever had. The "Fog Horn", two scoops of chocolate ice cream with raspberry sauce, hot fudge, whipped cream and chocolate chips. Fuckin' A.
So here I sit, on the verge of getting my lazy ass up to do my physics homework. Hopefully I won't get irrevocably depressed like before. That's not much fun, really. I'm not quite sure why I was in such a funk, either. It didn't seem to come from my normal pathways of being depressed, but a more deep hatred of who I am. But that's OK, because I'm going to do Physics, Computer Science and study for tomorrow's Music final. Whee.
And where am I going to live over the summer? Still unknown. Hopefully I'll be able to stay the entire summer, and not go home, because I want to be "independent" and stuff. Mostly, I just want the month of June to myself for purposes of chilling out, fixing up my webpage, recording some stuff, writing a musical and planning out my de-cal for Fall. In case you were wondering, a de-cal is a student taught course which you get credit for, about anything students want to teach about. It's purpose in my mind is to educate international students about what it's like to grow up American. And how can we best distill the American youth experience? Television. I think it's going to involve watching a lot of children's television, and discussing what effect that has on who Americans are as a whole.
On a separate note, it's always a little harrowing to spend time with my parents because they're so racist. They don't acknowledge it, but they don't have any black or hispanic friends. Sure, they're usually in a different economic bracket and lead a different lifestyle, but that's really not a good excuse. They're all freaked out because I applied to live in the African-American themed coop. Yeah, so I'm not black. But neither am I racist, at least, I try not to be. And it's hard, because we live in a fairly racist society, but I'm doing my best. Which is why I applied to live there. Because living in a coop seems like fun, regardless of the coop. Hell, I love African American music. Hip Hop and Soul are some great genres - I know that's not really an excuse for having few black friends, but I think I should get some diversity points for it.
